Factoids

Back on the Air. Maybe.

April 25, 2010     link     category: Stare    comments: 0

Hmm...nearly 4 years since the last post. You can't bleeding well tell us we're not the Universal Emperor of Procrastination, now can you?

You can't, don't even try.


Factoiding Along

September 11, 2006     link     category: Stare    comments: 1

Only now over at Faster Than The World. Look for us Sunday evenings, and we shall, in turn, look for you.


Hallowed be thy partition

July 18, 2006     link     category: Office Space    comments: 0

We wonder what it says about us that when we go to type "oh god" we type "oh dos" instead...


And Quit Being Big Babies

April 21, 2006     link     category: Office Space    comments: 0

It is called a HELPdesk.

Where we provide HELP.

So when you sign your tickets with the whinge "please help!", as if we might or might not you know, depending on our mood render assistance unless you beg a rly lot then you are being both insulting and irritating.

Just so you know.


Der Bibliochaise

April 20, 2006     link     category: Teh Cool Yet Unattainable    comments: 0

Forwarded to us just today by someone purporting to be our *friend* this lovely sets our hearts to pitter-pattering, despite it's hideously inappropriate shade of orangey-red:

bibliochaise.jpg

Click through to the manufacturer's site at your peril, it features some truly spectacular mystery navigation, making items as difficult to find as binarily possible. One would think they were not interested in actually selling their Seat du Books.

Link credit: Gizmodo


Needless Things

April 14, 2006     link     category: Teh NOT Cool    comments: 1

While we are all in favor of case mods, per se, this case from Maingear, shaped like a alliteration alert! particularly priapic pyramid, does nothing but give us vaguely uncomfortable ideas about investing in the nearest multi-level marketing scheme.

maingear_viiv_pc.jpg

Available in your choice of Cypress Green, Inferno Red, Speed Yellow, et al., this is definitely the case for those who have that recurring dream of wearing Sun God robes and thousands of naked women throwing little pickles.

Link credit: Engadget


Sp + I + Cy

April 13, 2006     link     category: Teh Cool Yet Unattainable    comments: 0

We rly rly wish this site was bi-lingual or even tri- quad- quint-lingual!, as these salt/pepper shakers are almost too cool to be tolerated:

chemical_sp.jpg

So, while we're sorry for posting a link to something cool yet unattainable because OF COURSE we can't freaking find it anywhere else we needed to share our pain.


mv moron.client /usr/local/hell

April 11, 2006     link     category: Office Space    comments: 0

Dear Co-Dependent Whinger:

The fact that you are too impaired to manage the very simple aspects of your control panel used to be a source of amusement to us. MILD amusement, but amusement nonetheless. And in the tech support world, we takes whats we can gets.

But lately you've begun to grate on our nerves.

You open every ticket using the most hysterical tone possible. And vastly over-utilizing your exclamation and question mark keys, we might add. You claim things that are unpossible. We could prove your liar-ness had we the impetus to search through gigs of server logs, but it's simpler to just solve your stupid little issue and get you off the helpdesk.

You also whinge that we should have anticipated your needs and met them without your intervention. How this is possible is quite beyond us, perhaps you think we left our telepathy abilities in our other pants. You, like every other hostee, have to use your widdle pitters to type out your request. Sorry, Poppet, that's the way it is.

To all this, we reply, "we're sorry."

We're very, very sorry that your last host was as equally co-dependent as you are, and apparently took positive delight in holding your metaphorical, since you're female pecker. We're just not that kind of hoor. And we certainly don't need your six bucks a month quite that badly.

We're also very sorry that we can't drive to your house and fsckstomp you personally. But that's an issue for our analyst.

Love,
Factoids


Putting the Cock Back in Cocktail

April 10, 2006     link     category: Stare    comments: 1

We regrettably do not recall where we first saw this, but we think that's probably a good thing, as the amount of scorn we intend to heap on the following item can cause third degree burns if there's any spillover.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what you get when far too many ad execs stay up far too late doing far too much blow:

diaka-vodka-760907.jpg

This is DIAKA Vodka. Vodka from Poland. Vodka that apparenly has crystals aka. "diamonds" fused into the bottle.

Sadly, we must quote the press release:

The new company's first product launch through its TransBorder Spirits USA subsidiary will be vodka imported from Poland which utilizes an industry first patented diamond filtration process. The process utilizes nearly one hundred diamonds of up to one carat in size, and results in a Vodka with unsurpassed clarity and smoothness

Now, we don't know about you people, but last we heard the act of "filtration" consisted of passing one thing through another, the end result of said action being the removal of impurities. What we'd like to ask these bright boys, is how exactly they believe they've managed to get their hooch through one of the hardest substances in the world. Aren't they just instead creating an illusion of exclusivity by claiming this dubious process seriously, try moving water through glass some time to dress up some low-rent Polish snort, and trying to pass it off as the Thing To Buy When You've Already Bought Everything Plus Liberia?

Yes, we think they are, as further evidenced by this sorry additional quote:

The Vodka lover continues to demonstrate a willingness to pay for quality. DIAKA(TM) reflects a lifestyle shared by the cognoscenti of style, entertainment and the arts. It is truly Fashion You Can Drink(TM).

Yep, faaar too much blow.


Meeting Minutes

April 06, 2006     link     category: Stare    comments: 0

Dear World,

We here are Factoids would like to make some requests. And feel free to interpret the word "requests" as "demands." We also have some comments. Feel free to interpret those as "demands" as well.

  1. Stop calling your computer a "puter". You are not seven and that is not cute.
  2. Our cable internet service must never, ever again lunch itself. AOL dial-up is a hell reserved for those who abandon kittens.
  3. cPanel must get it's head out of it's collective ass. There are other server management options out there, you know.
  4. You, the person who sends in a new order when all you really want to do is upgrade...stop adding extra work to our day, you're pissing us off.
  5. Replying to your pending ticket with the word "bump", is likely to get our boots "bumped" up against your ass. Today, Pumpkin, is not the day for such shenanigans.

And now, the comments:

  1. If you foray to our abode at our request in order to present us with a quote for your services, being as insulting as humanly possible is not the very bestest way to persuade us to view your proposal with anything resembling favor. In other words, yes, you great steaming pile of knowitallness, you do indeed see rosemary, thyme and basil there among the herb pots. If you don't know what they look like in the first place, why in the name of little green tree frogs, would you say you don't see them sitting there? Here's a tip, Poppet...your condescending attitude just lost you the job. And I shall be certain to inform everyone to avoid your place of employ, whenever they should enquire as to the actual do-er of said work. Who is not you. </Mojo Jojo>
  2. If you, as an insultingly skinny mother of three, are going to muscle your way into the position of Team Mom for a Little League team, then you bloody well had better call every one of the parents when they are due to schlep their children 15 miles down the road from the site of the usual activities, to the alternate field. Your condescending attitude towards every other parent on the team has made YOU the pariah, not the other way around, Princess.

And now, a bonus observation:

Why is it that words that begin with the letter P are so deuced useful during the snark process?

And now, back to your regularly scheduled tense silence.


Recipes - Cajun Eggs

April 02, 2006     link     category: Fooood    comments: 4

This is a freeform recipe, which means vary the ingredients in the proportions most pleasing to your palate.

2 or 3 large eggs (depending on how hungry you are)
2 oz milk
One half red bell pepper, seeded and chopped in 1" pieces
One large slice of white onion, similarly chopped
One 1" thick slab of Velveeta cheese (yes, it has to be Velveeta)
Crystal hot sauce to taste (yes, it has to be Crystal hot sauce)
Pepper to taste

Crack the eggs into a small bowl and whisk together with the milk. Start your favorite saute pan on med-high heat, melt a dab of butter, then add the egg mixture. The little bit of milk is to give the eggs some fluff. Do NOT do this if you're making omelettes SIN!, but it can be quite spiffy in scrambled eggs.

I usually wait a bit to add the onions and the red bell pepper because I like them a bit al dente, so add the cheese first...chunk it with your fingers and toss it in for faster melting. If you're a fastidious nit, slicing it in chunks with your favorite knife is also acceptable...but seriously prissy.

Once the egg starts to think about becoming an omel meaning a solid mass starts to form under the runny bits, start hacking that thing up with your spatula and add in the onion and bell pepper. Once the cheese gets all melty, toss in your Crystal hot sauce to taste. I like some fire and twang so I usually take it up to a medium-loud shade of orange.

After everything is delightfully combined, scrape it all into a bowl, grind in fresh black pepper to your liking thanks to the Velveeta salt will be superfluous, and serve up with a mildly sweet toast or even tortilla chips. as you like.

Now do heed the notes above that yes, it has to be Velveeta, and yes, it has to be Crystal hot sauce. Trust us, we have tried this with cheddar, we have tried this with wing sauce we have NOT tried this with green bell peppers, and never will since they are pure evil from the 8th dimension, so don't bloody well ask us, and the only way it comes out nummy is as described above.

Be vewwy, vewwy careful with the Velveeta though...there is SO such as thing as too much cheese. *shudder*


Geeky Goodness

March 24, 2006     link     category: Teh Cool    comments: 1

We love the tech humor, being teh geeks that we are. While not necessarily gamerz ourselves, we can nevertheless appreciate the timeless sentiment in "Frag the weak, hurdle the dead". That's an all-purpose sort of homily there, people.

Anyway, we're currently digging J!nx and manfully attempting to refrain from purchasing one of everything. Some of our faves:

pirates_ninjas.jpg

Because, yes, pirates are way cooler. Also in a tshirt.

stfu.jpg

We'd like ours to say "now" instead of "please", however. Totally wearing this to the childrens' next Family "Fun" Night. If ever an elementary school needed a big cup of STFU, it's that one. *chaos*

More l33t goodness:

Social Engineering Specialist Because there is no patch for human stupidity - Truer words never spoken.

Dog Shirt 0wn3ed - Oh the humiligration!

Baby Creeper Hello world! - It's only a matter of time before the little winkies are coding in the womb. "Junior, you rewrote mommy's dna again, put it baaaack."

FPS Poster Frag the weak, hurdle the dead - Sure, you'd have to be 13 to actually want to display this on your wall, but still, great sentiment.


Signs you should not be allowed on the internet (part 1)

March 23, 2006     link     category: Stare    comments: 1

You're so devoid of creativity that you decide to rip off the design and layout of another website, despite the posting of clear copyright notices that the unimpaired individual would both read and understand.

You're similarly devoid of intelligence, in that the design you rip happens to belong to the company that actually hosts your own website. This one boggles us, we freely admit. Seriously thought we wouldn't notice?

When called on your perfidy, you lurch about, insisting as plagiarists so often do that you only nicked it because it was "pretty", as if that were some sort of compliment-type thing instead of outright thievery.

You sign your pathetic whinge with "sorry for your troubles". Our troubles? Oh no, poppet, fail to remove the plagiarized graphics/layout or it will very much become YOUR troubles. Sod about with the legally registered identity of a company and that's what happens.


Just Write a Frickin' Letter Instead

March 16, 2006     link     category: Office Space    comments: 0

How do I set up email accounts. I haven't been on your site in many months but your new help system is awful compared to what you used to offer. I can't believe I have to ask for such an easy question.

Leaving aside completely that the new helpdesk system contains a very prominent link to the Knowledgebase, just as the old did... No, poppet, when you're using something as simple and user-friendly END-user-friendly, anyway as cPanel to manage your account, we can't believe you have to ask such an easy question either. Because that large MAIL MANAGER link in your control panel wasn't a dead giveaway. And the Manage/ADD/Remove Accounts link was a little too vague.


Un-Drool

March 14, 2006     link     category: Teh NOT Cool    comments: 0

A follow-up post to our Oct. 30 "drool" over the Deck LED backlit keyboard...

We bought one. Spending more than we've ever spent before on a piece of hardware that didn't actually make our computer go faster. We happily readjusted our typing style to account for it's very tightly packed, and somewhat rearranged keyboard. We loved the quiet snick of the keys. And that the LED had it's own "screensaver" and shut down when not in use.

Then the son-of-parents-who-were-not-married spacebar broke.

Oh, it didn't break all at once, no. First the spacebar simply refused to accept input unless hit multiple times. So, naturally, we took the key off to see if anything was stuck thereunder. There wasn't, but the tiny and fragile wire and plastic widget that is the means by which the key attaches frightened us. We carefully reattached it and decided to just deal with the irritation of having to multiple-strike for spaces since the keyboard was so &*^#%*@ expensive.

A day later we ordered the Saitek Eclipse to replace it:

eclipse.jpg

Ugly, noisy, bulky...yet sturdy. And still backlit. Yay.


Shoe Ink

March 14, 2006     link     category: Teh Cool   

There was going to be a salutory post here on the ubër-coolness of these Tattooed Shoes:

tattoo_shoe.jpg

<press blurb> A number of tattoo artists were brought on board to create the look of the new line; tattooist Dave Rhoades designed the collection of men's moccasin loafers pictured here. Rhoades' designs are actually hand etched into the leather and the shoes are then burnished with oils and tattoo inks to embellish the art. </press blurb>

However, the designer's nightmare of a Flash website pissed us off so badly that we leave it to you, our fine Factoid-ees, to find them on your own. We hear Fred Segal might carry them, but, let's face it...if they're just now figuring out that they need an ecom presence, they might not be your best choice.

Via Needled


Chef Whinybutt

March 13, 2006     link     category: Stare    comments: 0

We freely admit that we wholeheartedly despise that craptacular creation that is South Park. But when Isaac Hayes quits the show, whinging that "there is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," and "as a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices," we're so delighted by the rebuttal of the loser-boyz who created the thing that we're going to break out the blockquotes:

Though Hayes, a devout Scientologist, made no reference to specific episodes that he felt crossed the line, series creator Matt Stone had little doubt that Hayes' decision was triggered by the November 2005 episode "Trapped in the Closet," which satirized the religion's beliefs and practices and featured "cameos" by animated versions of Tom Cruise and John Travolta.

"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology," Stone told the Associated Press. "He has no problem--and he's cashed plenty of checks--with our show making fun of Christians."

Wait, there's more...

Past episodes of South Park have skewered Catholics, Jews and Mormons, among others. However, according to Stone, he and Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology.

"He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin," Stone told the Associated Press.

We here at Factoids do not care who you worship, be it Chthulu, Xenu or actual gnus, if you're a hypocrite about it, we're going to point our fingers at you and hoot. Derisively.


Crazy Love

March 11, 2006     link     category: Big Love Eye Pixels    comments: 0

Despite our complete horror at the thought of watching Chloë Sevigny perform in anything whether she's sucking some greasy racist's crank or not, we shall be tuning in to the season premiere of Big Love on HBO this Sunday. It'll be interesting to see how far they actually try to distance themselves from the Mormons, despite official protestations to the contrary, and we have our very own recovering Mormon in-house to provide *coff* trenchant analysis.

Besides, we <3 The Paxton, especially when he's all noble and stuff.

Update - Well, they're definitely Jack Mormons, hence the "compound" and self-styled Prophet. The girl who works with the daughter, whose Dad is a state trooper...is anyone else thinking "sting"? We like the dynamics between the wives. It's nice to think that sort of thing could actually work, outside the strictures of "religion", that is.


Ridiwhosis?

March 09, 2006     link     category: Technojoy    comments: 0

We, like Eddie Izzard, have technojoy Ctrl-P print, why won't you print, it's only one paragraph, and we have a keen sense of design, so natch we're going to be barmy over these little winkies:

ridibundi.jpg

Colorful smilies made tactile, Ridibundus smileys are artsy little cushions, declared by their creator to be "good for all children—one- to hundred-year-olds.". Alrighty then. And at only 570 rubles for the set, they're a bargain, a bargain for you.


R, Matey

March 08, 2006     link     category: Teh Cool    comments: 1

Our affinity for all things piratey is already documented, so, natch, we're snapping up these funky Jolly Roger topsider/van-type footcoverings from the inspirationally-named Angry, Young and Poor.

jolly_roger_shoes.jpg

While we haven't been angry, young or poor for some time now, we can still vividly remember how much it did not rock. Vive le passive-agressive dissension!


Tumble Not Thy Merlot

March 08, 2006     link     category: Eh?    comments: 0

Greetings and salutations! Who cares where we've been...on with the Factoiding!

What, in the name of tiny brown acorns, is THIS?

riedel.jpg

A wine TUMBLER? Have you people Lost It? The entire point of having a bowl-ish container floating atop an eensy stem is to prevent the heat of your hand from otherwise tainting the sublimity of the elixir of your choice, particularly vital in instances when imbibing those wines dictated by fashion or palate to be served chilled.

So, Reidel can't settle for simply charging a metric arseload for their glass of dubious appeal, they now have to further blaspheme by offering the Dixie cup of glassware as an "enhancement" to our imbibing enjoyment? I've nothing against Thunderbird there's a time and a place for Thunderbird but this is strictly screw-top territory people. Eschew, ESCHEW!!


Hide the 'shine, maw!

December 15, 2005     link     category: Stare    comments: 2

What kind of inbred, cheese-brain, paranoid, shoot-the-revenooers kind of North Georgia refugee do you have to be to hop in your pickup truck and chase down the pefectly innocent looking individual taking a picture of the striking oak tree in your front yard. If we were scouting for the tax man would we A) park on the road, B) drive a five-mile orange SUV, and C) use a clearly-visible two foot long camera lens?

If you're going to be paranoid, at least be original about it, lest we become tempted to assume you're a mad stalker, or SUV-jacker, and pop a cap in your posterior.


Spelling Lessons

December 12, 2005     link     category: Stare    comments: 3

The word is AUTHENTICATE. Therefore you're "waiting for authentication."

The word is not AUTHENTIFICATE. Therefore you are not "waiting for authentification."


Klongggggg

December 03, 2005     link     category: Stare    comments: 1

Of all the freakish products available out there in the wideworld, Klong is surely the most disturbing thing we've seen in the last, oh say, five minutes.

5427_1.jpg

If it were not actually available for purchase on third party sites see above image link, we'd be certainsure this is nothing more than a really tasteless hoax. Take this "media advertisement" page, for example. On the left, little Elsie Murphy, age 8. She of the Freakishly Large Head and mysteriously missing shoe, exclaims the following about her beloved Klong:

Perhaps it's just us, but we find that whole progression a bit disturbing.

Also quoted is one Rex Roughtrade, age 80. He of the Photoshopped-on beard and curiously hunched shoulders proclaims his Klong-love with the following nuggets:

That's it. This is clearly some sort of psychological experiment being conducted on an unsupecting populace. For the love of god, someone please contact the authorities before we're all assimilated!!111!!11!

Link credit: Strange New Products

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: giraffe


The Christmas Equivalent of the Peep

December 02, 2005     link     category: tmi    comments: 0

By now you know you can count on the intrepid Factoids crew to experience things both pleasant and not so you don't have to. To that end, and having nothing whatsoever to do with our own unfortunate chocolate-covered cherry addiction we've bravely sucked it up and purchased a box of Queen Anne Peppermint Dark Chocolate Cordial Cherries.

peppermint_pkg.jpg

Evaluation began as soon as we could rip the cellophane wrapping off with frenzied fingers. Even though it was 8AM, yes. Shutup.

To properly grasp the extent and depth of our horror at the goo that subsequently filled our mouth, one must look at the difference between dark and milk chocolate:

Dark chocolate: Comprised of cocoa liqueur, cocoa butter and sugar.
Milk chocolate: All of the above, then adds milk and uses less liqueur than the dark chocolate.

Now, anyone who has ever seen/touched/tasted actual cocoa butter knows that it is not so much "butter" as "wax", with the attendant textural disadvantages and near complete lack of flavor.

So, yes, munching on one of these Peppermint Dark Chocolate Cordial Cherry is like munching on a wet, faintly chocolate-flavored, wax-covered cherry-thing. Not as gag-worthy as it sounds, but when compared to the sublime goodness that is the Milk Chocolate Cordial Cherry, it is a nightmare worthy of an appearance by Freddy himself.

fk_cherry.jpg

Are we going to eat them anyway? You bet your ass we are.

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: leaf man


Zzzzap!

December 01, 2005     link     category: Office Space    comments: 0

Customer: Where's my account?

Tech Support: Well, you didn't pay the invoices, there were four past due. So we suspended it for four weeks...you totally failed to notice...then we terminated it.

Customer: WHAT?!?! Did I lose all my content? I had a script installed there that cost me a lot of money, does this mean I lost the whole thing?!?!?

Tech Support: Er, you didn't pay your invoices. For four months. Your money is sacrosanct but ours is gleaned from old Monopoly games? I'm sorry, sir, but the business world doesn't quite work that way. Have a nice day.

How we long for our TCP/IP based EMP.

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: ladybug


Bytes #2

November 30, 2005     link     category: bytes    comments: 1

Still Christmas Shopping, are we?

Teleblaster 1.0 - Ok, it's a funkily shaped television, and it apparently can warp/weft the image any way you like... We just have one question. Can we watch frigging television on it?

Swedish FireSteel - Practicality aside, this just has an excessively cool name. It's a portable spark-maker, because you so often find yourself having to build a fire in the break room to reheat the coffee...? Ohh, this must be for those odd people who go out and deliberately sleep in the woods. Strange behavior...what do you call it? Lamping? No...camping! Freaks.

Tea Spoon - Part tea ball, part, er, spoon, this widget allows you to steep and stir your tea at the same time. Well, we think it's handy.

Modern Umbrella Stand - While our own home is an eclectic mix of contemporary and retro 50s, we experience an almost visceral reaction to sleek, modern shapes, which we wholly blame on our college graphic design professor.

Check out the rest of the 2modern site for more mod goodness.

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: motorcycle reflection


Belike and Lookee!

November 29, 2005     link     category: Teh Cool    comments: 0

Oh yes, Mister Factoids is going to LOVE this:

pirate_towels.jpg

Skull and crossbones hand towels...coolness that transcends such minor considerations as "decor" or "good taste". We'll take one of each, yes.

Link credit: design*sponge


Cult of Accessory

November 29, 2005     link     category: Stare    comments: 1

We here at Factoids are increasingly dismayed at the ever-expanding array of CRAP available for the care and feeding of your various portable electronica. The iPod is, of course, the biggest culprit, featuring such head-scratching addons as this thousand dollar massage chair, into which you can lowjack and presumably vegetate until potatoes can be harvested from the gratuitous alliteration alert flab of your flaccid flesh.

hw562blk_pip.jpg

If you ask us, he looks a little TOO happy.

And this perplexing little rubber suit into which you can slot your iPod and swallows convulsively play with it.

iguy.jpg

This is what we've come to? The anthropomorphism of our widgets? Are we truly that bored??

See Exhibit B, a beanbag chair for your wait for it cellphone.

phone-bean-bag.jpg

Now, we're all for organization, but a comfy cushy chair for your cellphone? We, ourselves, could count the times our cellphone has complained about it's aching feet on exactly NO hands...

All that said, we heartily congratulate the designers of such absurd devices for their unwavering faith in the gullibility of the average consumer. Well done!

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: sinuous


Going Wireless

November 28, 2005     link     category: Teh Cool    comments: 5

As intellectual sans pretention as we fancy ourselves to be, from time to time our lizard brains dig their claws into our forebrains and shriek SHINY at the top of their metaphorical lungs. With these lurvely solar-powered, install-anywhere tiles, NOW is such a time:

tiles.jpg

Make no mistake, the potential for serious embarrassment to your neighbors is infinite...note the Saturday Night Fever-esque color scheme available. Let's all avoid that, shall we, and go instead for a more Logan's Run sort of future-cool look scroll to the bottom. Think of the children, won't you?

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: bicycle parking


Run, Run for your life

November 27, 2005     link     category: tmi    comments: 0

It may just be us, but we're pretty sure that this morning's horrific dream of being chased by Tyrannosaurus Rexes and Velociraptors has everything in the world to do with the fact that we were guests of Walt Disney yesterday.


Happy Turkey-Eating Day

November 22, 2005     link     category: tmi    comments: 0

Because, let's face it, that's what it really is. Celebrate the annihilation of an indigenous culture by religious fruitbats so chock full 'o nuts they were booted out of ENGLAND, fer crissakes? Hells, no, let's just stuff ourselves and watch football instead!

Here at Factoids Central, the menu goes thusly:

Turkey (brined for 12 hours)
Spiral sliced ham (brown sugar and raisin glaze)
Cornbread dressing (Southern style, but hold the oysters)
Smashed potatoes (yukon golds, of course)
Fried Corn (fried in bacon grease, thankyew)
Green Bean Casserole (who knows, my brother is making it *shudder*)
Cranberry Compote (fresh cranberries only)
Parmesan Crisps (Parmigiano-Reggiano, not that canned crap)
Carrot slaw (I'm terrified...hold me)
Mother's Yeast Rolls (she'd tell you, but then she'd have to kill you)

And for dessert:

No-Bake Chocolate Cheesecakes (tastes like actual Heaven according to one impartial judge)
Million Dollar Pie (scammed from Cool Whip labels for over 30 years now)
Pecan Pie (pecans and a crapload of dark corn syrup)
Sugar Cookies (made by children!)

No, you can't come. Actual recipes provided upon gently-phrased and downright obsequious request.


Details

November 18, 2005     link     category: Stare    comments: 4

If you're going to run a gossip rag, or any sort of web-based publication, there are really a great many spell-checking options available to you. Some hints, from your friends at Factoids:

Someone doesn't "brake" their neck.

Neither does someone "peak" through someone else's window.

We're fairly sure no one has ever "collaberated".

We can't help but notice you're selling ads on your site. Dast we suggest you might could bump that asking price a wee smidge should you bother to look like you actually give a snot about what you're doing there.


Bytes #1

November 18, 2005     link     category: bytes    comments: 0

Since this is the only kind of quickie we're likely to get today...

Sin City Theme Restaurant - Yes, we'd give actual money to schlep through the creeping horror that is Basin City, but only if we could LEAVE. And take Gail and Lucille with us. Rrowr.

IDT Plans Hellboy Cartoon - With no previous exposure to Hellboy, we thoroughly enjoyed 2004's feature film, and the sarcastic / jaded titular character. He spoke directly to the armor-clad not because we are emotionally vulnerable but because we were born in Hell that way demon in all of us.

We wholeheartedly approve of the inclusion of COLOR in household goods of late. Yes, all our kitchen appliances are black but that is hardly the point, now is it. Some of our favorites:

Typhoon's entire line of kitchen accessories.

Mobi Zipper Storage Bags

Chiasso's Pop Toaster

The entire line of FrancisFrancis! espresso machines

Go nuts, scare the neighbors.


Ranting with Bob

November 18, 2005     link     category: Teh Cool    comments: 1

As far as gimmicks go, it's pretty gimmicky, nevertheless, our favorite thing on the ENTIRE PLANET is Drinking With Bob.

Now we don't know if Bob actually drinks, but he certainly rants, and at the top of his Brooklyn-y / Bronx-y / some-borough-y lungs, and usually on a topic near and dear to our black, little hearts.

Factoids favorites:

Angelina Jolie. From where I'm standing, she doesn't like American kids!!!

Terrell Owens is an idiot, because of YOU!!!

Bono nominated for Nobel Peace Prize. Oprah for President. We are a country of Morons!!!

A heavy post-rant sight to you, too, Bob.

Thanks to In-Sect for reminding us of Bob's existence.

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: white ibis


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