December 2005 Archives
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Hide the 'shine, maw!
December 15, 2005 link category: Stare
comments: 2
What kind of inbred, cheese-brain, paranoid, shoot-the-revenooers kind of North Georgia refugee do you have to be to hop in your pickup truck and chase down the pefectly innocent looking individual taking a picture of the striking oak tree in your front yard. If we were scouting for the tax man would we A) park on the road, B) drive a five-mile orange SUV, and C) use a clearly-visible two foot long camera lens?
If you're going to be paranoid, at least be original about it, lest we become tempted to assume you're a mad stalker, or SUV-jacker, and pop a cap in your posterior.
Spelling Lessons
December 12, 2005 link category: Stare
comments: 3
The word is AUTHENTICATE. Therefore you're "waiting for authentication."
The word is not AUTHENTIFICATE. Therefore you are not "waiting for authentification."
Klongggggg
December 03, 2005 link category: Stare
comments: 1
Of all the freakish products available out there in the wideworld, Klong is surely the most disturbing thing we've seen in the last, oh say, five minutes.
If it were not actually available for purchase on third party sites see above image link, we'd be certainsure this is nothing more than a really tasteless hoax. Take this "media advertisement" page, for example. On the left, little Elsie Murphy, age 8. She of the Freakishly Large Head and mysteriously missing shoe, exclaims the following about her beloved Klong:
- Fits in my school bag and can still breathe.
- Sleeps with me and never snores.
- Only I know my Klong's name.
Perhaps it's just us, but we find that whole progression a bit disturbing.
Also quoted is one Rex Roughtrade, age 80. He of the Photoshopped-on beard and curiously hunched shoulders proclaims his Klong-love with the following nuggets:
- Klong don't need much.
- Ain't afraid of getting it's hands dirty.
- You can forget about it but it never forgets about you.
That's it. This is clearly some sort of psychological experiment being conducted on an unsupecting populace. For the love of god, someone please contact the authorities before we're all assimilated!!111!!11!
Link credit: Strange New Products
Foto of the day: giraffe
The Christmas Equivalent of the Peep
December 02, 2005 link category: tmi
By now you know you can count on the intrepid Factoids crew to experience things both pleasant and not so you don't have to. To that end, and having nothing whatsoever to do with our own unfortunate chocolate-covered cherry addiction we've bravely sucked it up and purchased a box of Queen Anne Peppermint Dark Chocolate Cordial Cherries.
Evaluation began as soon as we could rip the cellophane wrapping off with frenzied fingers. Even though it was 8AM, yes. Shutup.
To properly grasp the extent and depth of our horror at the goo that subsequently filled our mouth, one must look at the difference between dark and milk chocolate:
Dark chocolate: Comprised of cocoa liqueur, cocoa butter and sugar.
Milk chocolate: All of the above, then adds milk and uses less liqueur than the dark chocolate.
Now, anyone who has ever seen/touched/tasted actual cocoa butter knows that it is not so much "butter" as "wax", with the attendant textural disadvantages and near complete lack of flavor.
So, yes, munching on one of these Peppermint Dark Chocolate Cordial Cherry is like munching on a wet, faintly chocolate-flavored, wax-covered cherry-thing. Not as gag-worthy as it sounds, but when compared to the sublime goodness that is the Milk Chocolate Cordial Cherry, it is a nightmare worthy of an appearance by Freddy himself.
Are we going to eat them anyway? You bet your ass we are.
Foto of the day: leaf man
Zzzzap!
December 01, 2005 link category: Office Space
Customer: Where's my account?
Tech Support: Well, you didn't pay the invoices, there were four past due. So we suspended it for four weeks...you totally failed to notice...then we terminated it.
Customer: WHAT?!?! Did I lose all my content? I had a script installed there that cost me a lot of money, does this mean I lost the whole thing?!?!?
Tech Support: Er, you didn't pay your invoices. For four months. Your money is sacrosanct but ours is gleaned from old Monopoly games? I'm sorry, sir, but the business world doesn't quite work that way. Have a nice day.
How we long for our TCP/IP based EMP.
Foto of the day: ladybug
