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mv moron.client /usr/local/hell

April 11, 2006     category: Office Space

Dear Co-Dependent Whinger:

The fact that you are too impaired to manage the very simple aspects of your control panel used to be a source of amusement to us. MILD amusement, but amusement nonetheless. And in the tech support world, we takes whats we can gets.

But lately you've begun to grate on our nerves.

You open every ticket using the most hysterical tone possible. And vastly over-utilizing your exclamation and question mark keys, we might add. You claim things that are unpossible. We could prove your liar-ness had we the impetus to search through gigs of server logs, but it's simpler to just solve your stupid little issue and get you off the helpdesk.

You also whinge that we should have anticipated your needs and met them without your intervention. How this is possible is quite beyond us, perhaps you think we left our telepathy abilities in our other pants. You, like every other hostee, have to use your widdle pitters to type out your request. Sorry, Poppet, that's the way it is.

To all this, we reply, "we're sorry."

We're very, very sorry that your last host was as equally co-dependent as you are, and apparently took positive delight in holding your metaphorical, since you're female pecker. We're just not that kind of hoor. And we certainly don't need your six bucks a month quite that badly.

We're also very sorry that we can't drive to your house and fsckstomp you personally. But that's an issue for our analyst.

Love,
Factoids

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