Factoids

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The Christmas Equivalent of the Peep

December 02, 2005    link     category: tmi     comments: 0

By now you know you can count on the intrepid Factoids crew to experience things both pleasant and not so you don't have to. To that end, and having nothing whatsoever to do with our own unfortunate chocolate-covered cherry addiction we've bravely sucked it up and purchased a box of Queen Anne Peppermint Dark Chocolate Cordial Cherries.

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Evaluation began as soon as we could rip the cellophane wrapping off with frenzied fingers. Even though it was 8AM, yes. Shutup.

To properly grasp the extent and depth of our horror at the goo that subsequently filled our mouth, one must look at the difference between dark and milk chocolate:

Dark chocolate: Comprised of cocoa liqueur, cocoa butter and sugar.
Milk chocolate: All of the above, then adds milk and uses less liqueur than the dark chocolate.

Now, anyone who has ever seen/touched/tasted actual cocoa butter knows that it is not so much "butter" as "wax", with the attendant textural disadvantages and near complete lack of flavor.

So, yes, munching on one of these Peppermint Dark Chocolate Cordial Cherry is like munching on a wet, faintly chocolate-flavored, wax-covered cherry-thing. Not as gag-worthy as it sounds, but when compared to the sublime goodness that is the Milk Chocolate Cordial Cherry, it is a nightmare worthy of an appearance by Freddy himself.

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Are we going to eat them anyway? You bet your ass we are.

Foto of the DayFoto of the day: leaf man

Run, Run for your life

November 27, 2005    link     category: tmi     comments: 0

It may just be us, but we're pretty sure that this morning's horrific dream of being chased by Tyrannosaurus Rexes and Velociraptors has everything in the world to do with the fact that we were guests of Walt Disney yesterday.

Happy Turkey-Eating Day

November 22, 2005    link     category: tmi     comments: 0

Because, let's face it, that's what it really is. Celebrate the annihilation of an indigenous culture by religious fruitbats so chock full 'o nuts they were booted out of ENGLAND, fer crissakes? Hells, no, let's just stuff ourselves and watch football instead!

Here at Factoids Central, the menu goes thusly:

Turkey (brined for 12 hours)
Spiral sliced ham (brown sugar and raisin glaze)
Cornbread dressing (Southern style, but hold the oysters)
Smashed potatoes (yukon golds, of course)
Fried Corn (fried in bacon grease, thankyew)
Green Bean Casserole (who knows, my brother is making it *shudder*)
Cranberry Compote (fresh cranberries only)
Parmesan Crisps (Parmigiano-Reggiano, not that canned crap)
Carrot slaw (I'm terrified...hold me)
Mother's Yeast Rolls (she'd tell you, but then she'd have to kill you)

And for dessert:

No-Bake Chocolate Cheesecakes (tastes like actual Heaven according to one impartial judge)
Million Dollar Pie (scammed from Cool Whip labels for over 30 years now)
Pecan Pie (pecans and a crapload of dark corn syrup)
Sugar Cookies (made by children!)

No, you can't come. Actual recipes provided upon gently-phrased and downright obsequious request.

Share Time

November 09, 2005    link     category: tmi     comments: 1

Mrs. Factoids is not a girly girl. She rarely wears makeup, dresses up only when necessary or when a *coff* costume is required, and neverever wears any sort of nylony-thing. But when it comes to handbags, Mrs. Factoids veers perilously near fashionista territory. Oh, we're not talking foolishness like this, or this, or even this. *shudder*

No, we're talking leather. Good, strong, sturdily constructed leather...because at any given time, Mrs. Factoids is schlepping around whatever book she's reading, a notebook, her Sidekick II, a knife, an address book, and a token makeup bag. So, when Mrs. Factoids spotted this beauty, her Day was Made:

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Purrr. Large enough to swing a cat in no, not really, and sturdy enough to put the beatdown on a perp yes, really, this bag is the wonderfulest. It even has dedicated pen loops on one side so there's no unseemly rooting about in the bottom come exorbitant credit slip signing time. Huzzah!


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